ISTORBO SI LORD!

Naranasan mo na bang matuyuan ng lalamunan dahil sa matinding sikat ng araw? 'Yung tipong nakabilad ka sa araw tapos sumakit nang sobra ang ulo mo na para kang hihimatayin? Sa bandang huli, malalaman mo na na-dehydrate ka at ang tanging makakapawi lamang nito ay ang isang basong tubig? Ako, naranasan ko 'yan!

Noong nakaraang Huwebes, March 27, 2014, nakasama ako sa summer outing ng paaralang aking pinagtatrabahuhan. Nagpunta kami sa isang beach resort sa Bauan, Batangas. Maganda ang lugar at talaga nga namang napakasarap na maligo sa dagat. Naisipan din naming magrenta ng isang pedal bike. At dahil ako ang nag-iisang lalaki, ako ang nagpedal. Nakakapagod pala 'yun! Maya maya lang, nararamdaman ko na parang nahihilo ako. Buti na lang at natapos na ang 30 minuto. Hindi na ako naligo pa at naisipan ko nang magbanlaw. Walang nagbago... hindi pa rin maganda ang pakiramdam ko. Hanggang sa nakabalik ako sa aming cottage at naisipan kong uminom ng tubig upang kahit papa'no ay mabawasan ang init na nararamdaman ko. At hindi nga ako nagkamali, pati pagkahilo ko nawala. Noon ko naisip na dehydrated na pala ako dahil sa matagal na pagkabilad sa init ng sikat ng araw. Salamat sa isang basong tubig, nawala ang pagkatigang ko.

Wala namang kaibahan ang karanasang ito sa iba pang naranasan ko. Normal lang kumbaga. Saka ko lamang naitindihan ang bagay na ito - noon lamang Sabado. 

Retreat namin noong Sabado hanggang Linggo ng tanghali. Ang swerte ko nga dahil may mga ganitong paghuhubog at pagkakataon na ibinibigay ang mga Salesian Sisters para aming mga empleyado ng kanilang paaralan. Isa ito sa mga pinananabikan ko taun-taon dahil panahon ito para akin ng pamamahinga at pakikipag-usap sa aking Diyos.

Speaking of Diyos! Actually, walang ibinigay na tema ng retreat ang aming facilitator, si Sr. Florita, isang madreng Salesyano. Nagtatanungan nga kami ng mga kasama ko tungkol dito kaya naisip na lamang namin na kanya kanyang pamagat na lang. Pero sobrang dami kong natutunan sa loob ng dalawang araw at isang gabing iyon. Isa na rito ang imahe ng Diyos.

Ang introduction ni Sister ay ganito: "A retreat is getting in touch with my soul beyond what I see in the mirror everyday... To get in touch with myself is also to get in touch with my image of God." Ang tanong ni Sister sa amin ay kung ano ang imahe ng Diyos sa amin sa mga oras na iyon, "What is your concept of God?"

Sa aking personal na pananalangin, isang imahe ang aking nakita - isang baso ng malamig na tubig. Tinanong ko ang Diyos kung bakit ito ang imaheng ipinakita Niya sa akin. Hindi niya ako pinagdamutan ng sagot. Binigyan Niya ako ng sagot na hindi malayo sa aking karanasan.

Ang imahe ng Diyos na ibinigay Niya sa akin - isang basong tubig.

Gaya ng nabanggit ko sa simula, mahirap ang madehydrate. Iba't ibang pakiramdam ang aking naranasan gaya ng pagkahilo at pagkatuyo ng lalamunan. Nakita ko ang Diyos sa ganyang sitwasyon. May mga pagkakataon sa aking buhay na talagang malayo ako sa Diyos. Minsan, mas pinipili kong lumayo sa Kanya lalo na kapag nagtatampisaw ako sa kasalanan. Minsan kasi may mga pagkakataong nakakalimot ako at parang nag-eenjoy sa pleasure na hatid ng mundo. Sa mga pagkakataong ganito bigla na lamang nagpaparamdam ang Diyos. Habang nag-eenjoy ako, bigla na lamang Siyang mang-iistorbo at magpapaalaala sa akin ng aking pagkauhaw. 

Para Siyang isang basong tubig na babasa sa aking tuyong lalamunan at magtatanggal ng pagkahilo ko sa makamundong bagay. At kapag ininom ko na Siya, tiyak ang presko presko ng aking pakiramdam.

Mas enjoy kasama ang Diyos lalo na kapag good terms kayo. Sarap Niyang kausap sa isang malalim at taimtim na pananalangin. Ngunit, gaya sa baso ng tubig, nasa sa akin na kung iinumin ko Siya o maghahanap ako ng alternatibong bagay na maaaring pumawi sa aking pagkauhaw. 

Iyan ang kahinaan ng Diyos, ang kalayaan nating mga tao. Dahil binigyan Niya tayo ng freewill, kailanma'y hindi niya pinanghimasukan ang kalayaan nating mga tao. Kaya nga, madalas natin Siyang makaligtaan at ginagawa lamang nating Siyang isa sa ating mga opsyon.

Madalas kapag tayo ay nauuhaw, mas pinipili pa nating uminom ng juice o softdrinks sa pag-aakalang mas makatatanggal ang mga iyon ng ating pagkauhaw. Tama, makakatanggal nga, ngunit, panandalian lamang. Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, mas lalo nating mararamdaman ang mas matingding uhaw. Dito natin maiisip na mas masarap pa ang uminom ng tubig kahit na ito ay walang lasa at boring. 

Minsan, sa ibang mga bagay ko tinutuon ang aking atensiyon sa paghahanap ko ng kahulugan sa aking buhay. Sa pag-aakalang mas enjoy kapag naranasan mo ang ibinibigay ng mundo, hinahayaan kong lamunin ako nang buo ng aking mga makamundong hangarin. Ngunit, sa bandang huli, sa Diyos pa rin ako uuwi dahil "ang uhaw kong kaluluwa'y tanging ikaw yaong hangad; para akong tuyong lupa na tubig ang siyang lunas" (Salmo 63:1).

O Diyos, sa mga pagkakataong nakakalimot ako sa Iyong dakilang pagmamahal sa akin, patawad po. Loobin mo pong mamuhay ako sa Iyong piling palagi. Sa mga pagkakataong ako ay nauuhaw, ipaalala mo po sa aking Ikaw ang tanging tubig na makapapawi sa pagkatuyot ng aking buhay. Amen.

Sinabi ni Hesus sa babaing Samaritana: "Ang uminom ng tubig na ito'y muling mauuhaw, ngunit ang uminom ng tubig na ibibigay ko ay hindi na muling mauuhaw. Ito'y magiging bukal sa loob niya, babalong, at magbibigay sa kanya ng buhay na walang hanggan." (Juan 4:13-14)

PCNE: A Past, Present, and Future

This is my reflections during the 1st Philippine Conference on New Evangelization held at University of Santo Tomas last October 16-18, 2013. I have submitted this and was published to The Sparks, the official publication of Don Bosco School Manila.

“Behold, God makes all things new!” This verse from the Book of Revelations (21:5) served as the battle cry of more than 6,000 delegates who attended the first Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE) held at University of Santo Tomas last October 16-18, 2013. But, my PCNE experience started months before those three days.

I knew of the PCNE as early as July of 2013 through a Facebook post. Cardinal Chito Tagle will convene that gathering as a response of the Philippine Church to Pope Benedict XVI’s call for the New Evangelization as part of the celebration of the Year of Faith. When I saw that post, I desired to join that conference but I don’t know how. I thought of talking to our pastoral council president of our parish to express my desire. But, I had some hesitations since there are officers in the council to be considered before me. I just prayed and informed the Lord of this desire. It’s up to Him if He will allow.

As days pass by, I received updates of the preparations through Facebook. The secretariat already set up a website where the details of the gathering were posted as well as a portal where delegates can have their online registration. My desire became strong and I really want to join that conference but still, the answer to my ‘how’ question is not yet clear.

One day, when I visited the HR office, I saw a paper announcing that event. I asked Ms. Elaine and she informed me that the school will send delegates but on a limited number only. Unfortunately, I was not included in the list. Not the right time, I thought.

A week after, I was really happy when Ms. Elaine broke the news that Sr. Celia already approved the delegation of all faculty and staff of the school. One by one, we registered online and chose our own streams and pathways (concurrent sessions) for the three days. Due to my excitement, I even volunteered to Sr. Tita to accompany Ms. Elaine in picking up the kits and all the materials a week before the event.

It was not my first time to attend such faith-filled gathering organized by the Church. Since I am active in our parish and works with the young people, I often attend various youth gatherings, seminars, and the like. As a DBS staff, our FMA sisters annually provide us with different recollections and retreats as well as seminars, conferences, and fora. But, PCNE is a new and renewing experience for me, true to its purpose and objective – New Evangelization.

If you are going to ask me what PCNE is for me, I will only give you one simple answer: PCNE is a renewal of my faith, mission and commitment as a lay person.

During those days, almost all of the high-ranking officials of the Catholic Church – the Cardinal, bishops, priests, and nuns, are there. But what struck me the most is the emphasis given to lay people. Various personalities, both well-known and those ordinary people where invited as resource speakers to share the importance of faith in their own respective fields. On the first day, Cardinal Tagle facilitated a talk show where he invited Mr. Mike Enriquez of GMA 7; Ms. Tina Monzon Palma of ABS-CBN Foundation; Ms. Charito Manglapus, the president of the association of people inflicted with cerebral palsy; Dr. Nora Luceno, a non-Catholic and the president of the Philippine Bible Society; and Michael Lagarse, a young person.

On the second day, we have famous TV personalities like Christopher de Leon, Coco Martin, and Judy Ann Santos, who shared stories about their devotions to a particular saint and image and title of Jesus and how these devotions changed their lives and led them to a better relationship with God.

My own faith was reaffirmed after hearing the different stories of those people, who, like me, are also lay persons. I have realized that we cannot rely only on the ordained ministers like the Pope, our bishops, and priests, for the laity are part of the Church, the body of Christ.

Reaffirmation of my faith did not end by listening to them. It was Jesus himself who talked to me in those three days. I had a great experience of journeying with the Lord through the concurrent sessions that I have attended. On the first day, I attended a session about prayer called Prayer: A Friendly Exchange with God. Here, our facilitator, Ms. Noena Surmieda invited us listen to Jesus in the silence of our hearts. During that prayer experience, Jesus showed to me an image of him, just looking at me without saying any word. An eye to eye contact with the Jesus, my friend.

On the second day, Mr. Rene San Andres shared some points about the current trends of young people and the role of the family in their development. He stressed out that the formation of the character, personality, and attitude of the young depends on their family dynamics. While listening to him, I saw myself and how my own family developed my own character. I also remembered you Bosconians and all the young people under my care. I prayed for you and your families.

Realizations and learning will only be in vain if not put into practice. Cardinal Tagle gave three points for all of the delegates in his homily during the closing Mass on the third day of the conference, the feast of St. Luke. I took those points as my personal challenges which the PCNE left for me and I am sharing those to you as I end this reflection. First, we are called to be laborers in the vineyard of the Lord. In whatever life status we are in, whatever position we are holding, and whatever situations we are experiencing, God is calling us to work for Him, to share the Good News, and to introduce Him to others. He is sending us as His missionaries.

But, we are not sent alone. This is the second point: we are sent by two’s. Quoting the great Cardinal: “Jesus sent his 72 disciples by pairs not only because the testimony of two people is more powerful than one, but to emphasize the communitarian aspect of mission.” He added that in mission, there is no such thing as “lone ranger”. The challenge now is to stay with one another, love one another, and be real brothers and sisters with one another.

Lastly, we are sent as lambs among the wolves. According to the Cardinal, our job is to share and witness to the Kingdom of God. We are not asked to bring anything like purse, bags, or shoes (cf. Luke 10:4) because in our vulnerability, we will only rely on the power and riches of God. He added that as laborers, we are challenged to act like lambs, not like wolves because Jesus, the Lamb is the one sending us. Simplifying this, we are asked by Jesus to remain always pure and humble.

But the next question is, how will be become missionaries of God? To whom shall we evangelize? Pope Francis has answer to this. In his video message aired on the last day of the conference, he affirmed all of us by saying: “Don’t get tired of bringing the mercy of the Father to the poor, the sick, the abandoned, the sinful people, and family. Let Jesus speak now in the world of politics, business, arts, science, technology, and social media.” In short, let us bring Jesus in everything that we do everyday.

PCNE is not a just a three-day event for me. It is not a mere conference just like the other gatherings that I have attended. For me, it is a journey. It is a past which I will surely return and remember, a present in which I have to live everyday, and a future which will guide my decisions. I am very much thankful to the Lord for giving in to my desire and answering my prayer. I also thank the FMA Sisters, especially Sr. Celia and Sr. Tita for allowing me and all the teachers and staff to join and be part of this three-day journey. May I always live to the purpose of PCNE because through this, I am proud to be a Catholic!